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Some of you have asked, “Why should I call you instead of AAA when my car breaks down?” That’s a very good question. My

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answer is simple: Yes.

-Yes, I do offer a complimentary two-topping pizza with every service call.

-Yes, I do carry large rocks in case you’re locked out of your car.

-Yes, my scooter does have a two-stroke engine.  The same engine used on today’s most powerful leaf blowers

-Yes I do bring a hammer and nails to do light repairs on your car.

-Yes, I will tow your vehicle to my friend Stuart’s parent’s garage if I can’t fix it.

-Yes, I will let you ride on the back of my scooter if you are a girl about my age.

-Yes, my friend Stuart will be standing by to fix your car within 62 hours of arrival.

-Yes, I did maintain a C+ average in most of my high school shop classes.

Others of you have said, “I get all that. But I still don’t understand why wouldn’t I call AAA instead of you when my car breaks down?” The answer to that question is also simple:  No.

-No, AAA does not offer pizza delivery.

-No, AAA tow truck drivers will not push your car to the side of the road with their bare hands.

-No, AAA tow truck drivers are not authorized to carry rocks.

-No AAA tow trucks do not run on powerful two-stroke engines.

-No, AAA trucks do not carry hammers or nails.

-No, AAA drivers are not able to offer girls a ride on their scooters.

-No, AAA does not require its tow truck drivers to be graduates of high school shop classes.

-No, AAA does not have a contract with my friend Stuart.

Before you call for a tow, compare the promises AAA makes to its members to the promises I make to mine. Then decide for yourself. And remember: This week only I’m offering ANY LARGE DIET SOFT DRINK FREE with the purchase of a regular pizza and tow package!

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